Seeking for Laylatul Qadr

Looking forward to be in the company of them who beseech You, the Deity.

Only to You do I plead and ask.

Grant my visit Your Laylatl Qadr.

Kindly accept my humble visit and plead.

Kindly ease my intentions and cure my ails.

Forgive my wrongdoings,

Correct all of my affairs for me.

There is none worthy of worship but Thee.

Accept my seeking nearness to You,

and answer my prayer.

Grant me security on the day of fear,

from every horror You have prepared

for the Day of Judgement.

My God, I seek refuge with Your gracious self,

and Your mighty power, from (such a state)

that the days and nights

of Ramadhan reach completion,

and there still remains a sin on me,

that You will account me for,

or a mistake that You have not forgiven me.

My Master, my Master, my Master,

I ask You,

there is no god but You,

for surely there is no god but You,

If You are pleased with me in this month,

then increase that pleasure.

And if You are not pleased with me

then from now, be pleased with me.

O the most Merciful of the mercifuls!

O Allah, O One, O Needless

O He who does not give birth

and was not born,

and there is none equal to Him.

O the softener of iron for Dawood,

peace be on him.

O the remover of harm and distress

from Ayyub, peace be on him.

O the reliever of the grief of Y'aqub,

peace be on him.

O the comforter of the sorrow of Yusuf,

peace be on him.

Bless Muhammad and his family,

the way it befits You to bless them all,

and deal with me in a manner which befits You

not in a manner which befits me.

Time Doesn't Always Heal, Sometimes It Only Hides The Scars

When I look back at it all, the moment that seemed the darkest - 

when my heart was beating so hard I thought it just might break out of my chest, 

when it hurt just to breathe, 

when every inch of the dark seemed to be the best solemn to writhe in agony,

and when the flickering flame of pain ran through me every time I saw you - it all makes sense now.

You walking away happened so that I can be here now, 

and now is exactly where I'm meant to be.

Even though the journey and the destination is still pretty blurry and a work-in-process,

here is my overdue-commitment for a better me.

Thank you. 

Thank you for walking away. 

Thank you for bailing, for giving up.

Thank you for letting me go so I could find myself. 

Thank you for impacting my life in the most positive way, even if it didn't seem like that at first. 

Thank you..

Hati manusia, siapa yang jaga?

"Ya Allah, Tuhan yang menemani setiap hati yang keseorangan, yang menemani setiap yang kesepian,

Yang Maha Hampir tidak jauh, yang berkuasa tidak mampu diatasi.

Wahai yang Maha Hidup, wahai yang Berdiri Sendiri, 

Wahai yang Memiliki Keagungan dan Kemuliaan."

[ Riwayat al-Dailami ]

Terkadang (terlalu kerap) kita terlupa yang Allah yang menjaga hati setiap antara kita.

Mungkin seribu tahun pun kita yang ada depan mata, kalau sekali Allah dah tiup rasa tawar hati, dipersembah intan permata dan dirayu pun, tiada apa yang dapat kembali sama.

Dan mungkin beruntunglah mereka yang datang seterusnya.

Mungkin, seribu tahun pun berjauh pandangan, Dia tahu apa yang terbaik di kemudian hari, indeed He is the All-Knower All-Wise of everything.

Mungkin musibah adalah caraNya yang terbaik untuk memperingatkan kita memperbaiki kekurangan diri untuk lebih bersedia dengan tanggungjawab.

Mungkin musibah juga adalah caraNya yang terbaik untuk mengingatkan kita yang Dia masih sayangkan kita. Ketika Allah rindu pada hambanya, ia akan mengirimkan sebuah hadiah istimewa melalui malaikat Jibril yang isinya adalah ujian.

Malu sudah rasanya untuk merayu pada manusia, sedangkan hatinya sendiri berbolak-balik. You put all your eggs in one basket, not realizing that the basket is ripping apart from another side.

Tapi, lagi malu rasanya untuk merintih pada Allah, sedangkan hanya Dia serba serbi Maha Mengetahui khilaf kita, satu pun tak dapat tersembunyi.

Tapi, pada siapa lagi kita nak merintih untuk dijaga hati, as a better person, for a better person, kalau bukan padaNya.

Maybe it's the way He is telling you; that distance sometimes let's you know what's worth keeping, and what's worth letting go...